That Others May be Chosen and We Set Aside

Everyone on the team came here almost two months ago with their own unique prayer routines. Since then we’ve all taught each other new prayers, some of which have been tremendously helpful to us in our spiritual journeys. The most helpful prayer I’ve learned since joining SPIRITUS has been the Litany of Humility. I had never heard this prayer until the team prayed it together on the way to our very first retreat of the year. In case you’ve never heard it, the Litany of Humility is a prayer in which we ask Jesus to free us from the desires to be honored and praised, from the fears of being humiliated and wronged, and to help us want others to be more favored than us in all aspects of life.

I find it so challenging to pray the Litany of Humility and sincerely believe the words as I say them because rejection has caused me so much suffering throughout my life. When we pray the Litany of Humility, we ask Jesus to have us experience and embrace rejection from the world so that His love may be our only consolation. As much as I strive to be a saint, I struggle to desire that kind of humility with all my heart because of my memories of suffering from rejection.

My greatest growth in humility over the last few years has come from the realization that what other people think of me isn’t anywhere near as important as I once thought it was. But I still struggle to have a humble outlook regarding rejection by employers and other institutions because I worry so much about my professional and financial future. Before I got accepted to SPIRITUS this past spring, I spent so much time worrying I’d be rejected, but I kept telling myself it’d be OK if it happened because it would have been part of God’s plan for me. From the moment I decided to apply, I knew SPIRITUS would be a great opportunity for me to serve God in a bigger way than I ever had before and to launch what I hope will be a lifelong career in Catholic ministry. Satan tempted me to believe that if SPIRITUS rejected me, so did God.

It’s easier to say in hindsight, but I know I would have been just fine even if SPIRITUS had rejected me. No matter what I would have ended up doing instead, I’d still be glorifying God by offering my life to Him. Faith assures me that maintaining this humble outlook will only yield abundant grace.