A Soft Heart and Hard Feet

Oftentimes when I have a free moment in the evenings I find myself on a treadmill at one of the YMCAs in the Fox Valley, but my typical routine is more than just running until I can no longer pull air into my chest or pick up my feet from the belt. Usually if I am alone at the Y I’m praying and meditating on the rosary. For me, this is the most fruitful prayer time that I have and the mysteries seem to fly by with the miles, but the simple action of running and praying adds a depth to my prayer that just doesn’t exist elsewhere. In short, the amount of time I can spend running sets the pace for my life of faith, and I love it.

There was one night when I was frustratedly panting and pondering over the events of the last week and I asked the Lord to remind me of why I had come all the way to Wisconsin to serve Him. Almost immediately there was an ache in my heart and a feeling of having the wind knocked out of my chest. Despite just having posed this question to the Lord, it took me a while to put two and two together and understand what He was trying to show me: heartbreak.

Over the course of the next few weeks and many more dates with my treadmill, the Lord made it clear that all of this has been an answer to so many prayers of mine, because He does not ever place a desire on our hearts that He does not also intend to fulfill. What broke my heart was the number of young people I never saw in Mass besides Lifeteen Night or their Confirmation, that clearly didn’t know the Lord, and who did not know Love. It was a problem that I could see in the Church, and it was also a problem that I could do something about.

Something that I am learning at SPIRITUS is that on occasion the Lord allows our hearts to hurt in a certain way and that that isn’t always a bad thing. The heartbreak of seeing so many young people hurting and hopeless was what drove me (literally) to Wisconsin and SPIRITUS, and it also inspired a bit of soul searching. In my conversations with the Lord for the weeks before I knew I’d be working with this ministry I found my most effective prayer to be a simple, “Lord, give me a soft heart and hard feet. Give me the grace to love whomever you place in my life and to go wherever you are leading.” When I really gave it over to God, He moved mountains I didn’t know existed.

Peace of Christ,

Annastasia