Ha, God did it again. :)

          Discerning God's Will for your life is a tricky business.  Every-time you think you have it figured out God pulls a fast one on you and flips everything Topsy-turvy.  There I was on my way studying to be an actor a few years back when all of a sudden through a period of a Crisis of Faith I was pushed by God into a study of Theology and with a lot of twists and turns ended up on the SPIRITUS team.  It has been a wild ride especially this last year with this team.  All I can say is that it is only because of the grace of God that I am here today.  Granted I have my ups and downs and I am not perfect by any scale of the imagination, but I know that God if fighting for me.  Being here is not by happenstance, but because God knew that I needed to be here so I can grow in my relationship with Him.  I still have no idea what God wants to do in my life.  Instead of a pull to something that most people get I feel like I am being pushed somewhere.  Where?  Good question, I have no idea.  Until then I strive to be accepting of where I am at today and not to worry about tomorrow.

         Like I said it is only because of God's grace that I am here today instead of some other place that would not be beneficial for my soul.  Just look at the graces that He has given me throughout this year alone like a chance to talk about Him on retreats, 1 on 1 prayer (which by the way is still pretty weird for me), friendships with my teammates, caring staff, the joy of living in WI, and so many other things.  I have grown so much in many areas, but for me one of the biggest graces that God has given me is being able to speak in front of thousands of youth granted not all at the same time (Yikes!!!) but nevertheless speaking to the Youth.  Before I came here, I was very intimated by the Youth thinking that I can never relate to them and all that they would see is some clumsy adult trying to be young or that they would think I am foolish.  Over this last year, my heart has changed and I see these youth as little men and women who have their own unique personalities.  All of them are striving to find that joy that will satisfy them.  And it is this notion that I am part of a ministry to bring even a glimpse of that joy into their hearts that has filled me with a sense of peace.  I am no longer intimated by the Youth.  Yah, it is still scary to go up every single time and give my presentation and witness or do some acting in front of them.  I just take a deep breath now and give it all to God and surprisingly enough I actually get along well with the kids.  Who would have thought?  This ministry is not about me or any of the others, it is about glorifying God and making His name known throughout.  Pray for the ministry that it can continue to grow and pray for each one of us that we can grow deeper in our relationship with God so we can be the fire to ignite the world.