"I like your shoes" - the power of affirmation

“And please do not just say, ‘I like your shoes.’”We always add that last instruction before we begin small group affirmations on retreat. Students chuckle, but it reminds them that we want them to focus on each other’s personal gifts rather than exterior things like footwear. Small group affirmations are one of my favorite parts of SPIRITUS retreats. It challenges the students to be real with one another. They aren’t used to being sincere and at first the idea of actually saying nice things about each other out loud intimidates them. They begin with superficial comments, but as we continue they relax and speak from their hearts. One particular small group recently reminded me an affirmations power to open hearts. At the beginning of the retreat my small group was very closed off. Most felt deprived of their weekend. They were skeptical that a religious retreat could be fun. I wasn’t sure how affirmations would go over.The Holy Spirit provided. As the retreat continued, I noticed distinctive, positive qualities about each student. One boy was incredibly funny. He knew how to put a smile on his classmates’ faces. Another of the girls was deeply compassionate. She was quick to note how what others said affected people. When the time came to begin small group affirmations, I was surprised by how much goodness I saw in those students. God gave me the gift of seeing them through His eyes. Despite their resistance to being on retreat, they were kind, caring, and even charming people. I was even more surprised by their change of attitude after affirmations. They went from being guarded to treating me like a friend. Our small group laughed together and several of them opened up and shared personal struggles, all because of a few kind words. It gave me a lot to reflect on. Do I let people know that I appreciate them? Do I take notice of their accomplishments and point them out? Do I remind people that I am thankful God put them into my life? Do I affirm from the heart rather than remaining on surface level? I know for sure God is calling me to say more than, “I like your shoes.”