The Father's Love

My heart longs for you, my Father. I have been developing an amazing relationship with all Three Persons of the Trinity for the past year now, but to experience the Father's Love had been a rare occurrence if I even noticed it at all. But on SPIRITUS I have had the privilege and pleasure to go exploring around in the State Parks in Wisconsin. And its there in the wilderness and danger of climbing the bluffs that I feel the thrill of the Father's Love pounding through my vanes and in my heart. My very being comes alive when I connect with the beauty, danger, and adventure that the Father is so excited to share.

God the Father has been the most mysterious for me to get to know. The love He has shown me has been fierce, intense, and at the same time, soft, comforting and gentle. Slowly He has revealed to me His ideals for masculinity and femininity that He Himself instilled in us when He created us in His image and likeness. And then helped me to grow in my own manhood by guiding me and pushing me. In the community here at SPIRITUS I have been able to see Him at work, and revealing Himself to me through my team mates, who are now my adopted family! I hear Him say to me in Mass or at other times of prayer, "These, these are My daughters! They are My delight!" and "My son! Look! Here are your brothers! They are My pride!"

Community Life in Green Bay

Many times I have wondered what it would be like to live in a faith based community. Sure, I contemplated it as a part of religious life and how it would be a sacrifice and a challenge to be in community in order to experience this, but I didn’t think I would have the opportunity or that it would happen like it has. The experience of faith based community has been something I have longed for. Sometimes this yearning wasn’t evident to me, but I think it has been growing and rising in me ever since high school started and now I am living the experience I had thought about but not really given much hope for! I can assuredly say, even after two months, that faith community is a blessing, challenging, and yet, oh so beautiful.

We don’t know what we are made of until we challenge ourselves and are given the opportunity to live in a faith-based environment. We can learn about our spirituality and understand where and who we are with through this positive and uplifting environment. The worlds is so quick to tear at us and try to bring us down through personal doubts and peer pressure and now I know how important a like-minded community is to help with those challenges and can hold you accountable to the goals you set.  I have learned more about myself in two months then I did in the past two years! Crazy?! Yes, but so awesome! God sure has a plan for each of us and just looking at how I ended up here is almost a coincidence. J I didn’t and don’t always see how God is working in my life, but just ask me about how I ended up on Spiritus sometime!

I challenge and encourage you to look into your life and see how God has been moving in your lives! It is incredible to look even just a month back and see what God is trying to do. If there isn’t something that comes to mind, maybe ask yourself how you could change that. God is always there but He won’t come unless invited. Invite Him and live!

That Others May be Chosen and We Set Aside

Everyone on the team came here almost two months ago with their own unique prayer routines. Since then we’ve all taught each other new prayers, some of which have been tremendously helpful to us in our spiritual journeys. The most helpful prayer I’ve learned since joining SPIRITUS has been the Litany of Humility. I had never heard this prayer until the team prayed it together on the way to our very first retreat of the year. In case you’ve never heard it, the Litany of Humility is a prayer in which we ask Jesus to free us from the desires to be honored and praised, from the fears of being humiliated and wronged, and to help us want others to be more favored than us in all aspects of life.

I find it so challenging to pray the Litany of Humility and sincerely believe the words as I say them because rejection has caused me so much suffering throughout my life. When we pray the Litany of Humility, we ask Jesus to have us experience and embrace rejection from the world so that His love may be our only consolation. As much as I strive to be a saint, I struggle to desire that kind of humility with all my heart because of my memories of suffering from rejection.

My greatest growth in humility over the last few years has come from the realization that what other people think of me isn’t anywhere near as important as I once thought it was. But I still struggle to have a humble outlook regarding rejection by employers and other institutions because I worry so much about my professional and financial future. Before I got accepted to SPIRITUS this past spring, I spent so much time worrying I’d be rejected, but I kept telling myself it’d be OK if it happened because it would have been part of God’s plan for me. From the moment I decided to apply, I knew SPIRITUS would be a great opportunity for me to serve God in a bigger way than I ever had before and to launch what I hope will be a lifelong career in Catholic ministry. Satan tempted me to believe that if SPIRITUS rejected me, so did God.

It’s easier to say in hindsight, but I know I would have been just fine even if SPIRITUS had rejected me. No matter what I would have ended up doing instead, I’d still be glorifying God by offering my life to Him. Faith assures me that maintaining this humble outlook will only yield abundant grace.

The Giver

Yesterday I went to the Confession, and like most people I was nervous, especially because I didn't know this priest very well.

“Father, forgive me for I have sinned…” and I started going through my laundry list. Suddenly, Father stopped me: “Sam. Say what you just said one more time.”

“I was on my day off, and I used my time by watching my TV shows for six hours on my computer in my room.”

My day off. My time. My TV shows. My computer. My room.

"Pay attention to that word 'my,'" he said. "It seems like you might feel like you have a sense of entitlement – like you think you deserve some time away from doing God’s will; as if the rest of the week is for God, and this portion here is just yours to do with it as you like.”

He was absolutely right. I had separated myself from God for those hours. I had claimed that time for myself, and said, “God, stay out. This is mine.”

Upon further reflection, I realize that I do this all the time. I give this much time to God, and once I’ve checked that obligation off my list, I can go back to “me time”... Don't we all do this? We all say, “Alright God, I went to Mass. I gave you your hour. The rest of Sunday afternoon is mine.” Or… “I prayed grace over my meal, checked that off my list.”

God wants more. God wants everything.

You know, I used to think when I heard this that God is stingy. “God, I can’t give you all my time – What will be left for me!?  I can’t give you all my energy – What will be left for me!?  I can’t give you my whole life – What will be left for me!?”

But God doesn’t want to take away or withhold from us; he wants to give. God's nature is total gift, and that's what he loves to do more than anything else! God doesn’t take our time away from us – he multiplies it! When we give our time to God, he makes it holy, productive, beautiful, glorious. He makes it NEW.

Now, to give our time to God doesn’t mean we need to spend every waking moment in front of the Eucharist (but props to the nuns who do that!) … It means that everything that we do, every conversation we speak, every thought in our mind,… We can give these to God, simply by saying “God, this is for you.” We can give him our joy and our pain. Our health and our sickness.

And when we “offer it up” – when we say, “God, this is for you,” God gives it back to us, and makes it better than before. Because “God will not let himself be outdone in generosity.” (St. Josemaría Escrivá) The more we offer ourselves to him, the more he will give back to us!

I'm as bad as the next guy at "offering it up" – especially when I'm having a bad day. But I find that when I do, God absolutely transforms it and makes it NEW. I invite you – join me in my attempts to give everything I have to God, and constantly offer myself: “Everything I have is for you.”

After all, wouldn't he do the same for us?

Yes. Yes he would.

- Sam
@TheAfroSam
facebook.com/TheAfroSam
spiritussam@gmail.com

Rejoice in the Lord Always!

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!” Philippians 4:4

 As St. Paul tells us, we must rejoice in all situations. If you had asked me last year if I would be rejoicing over waking up at 5:45 in the morning to prepare for a retreat, I would have said you were crazy. However, this was my attitude as my alarm clock greeted me. Joining SPIRITUS has helped me realize that sacrifices are necessary for the sake of sharing God’s love with others. He has given me the grace to rejoice even when I do things that I find unpleasant- like waking up very early in the morning. I am able to find joy of participating in the mission of SPIRITUS, which is to ignite the faith of Catholic youth. Jesus commands us to “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19),and being a part of SPIRITUS allows me to follow His request. Throughout retreats I have seen students who were originally closed off become more open to to speaking about their faith. Our small group discussions help the youth think of concrete ways to live out their faith and become more aware of the need of God in their lives.

 The joy of the Lord is my strength as I make more sacrifices for the sake of this ministry. The past couple weeks have been exhausting, with continual training and several retreats under my belt. But because God has filled me with His love through prayer and daily Mass, I have found that it has been a happy, joyful, and fulfilling exhaustion. Even when I am weak- when I am unable to reign in unruly students or am overwhelmed with the numerous sessions I must prepare, God gives me the strength to go on. I know that God will continue to bless myself and the rest of the SPIRITUS team with His joy and love as we continue to share the Gospel with all we meet.

God's grace

I had a friend from home who told me, “don’t change too much while you’re gone”. Well I haven’t changed at all, I am just slowly transforming more and more into the woman God has created me to be. I am becoming myself.

No these aren't drastic differences, but they are little things that I see God created me for. If I listen I can hear the Holy Spirit, that calm voice is easier to connect to. I am blessed with each moment the Spirit comes upon me.

Receiving the Eucharist all week long has caused my heart to beat harder when it comes time for communion. The moment the priest walks down from the altar with the Eucharist, I am so excited to walk up that aisle into God's arms.

My relationship with God is growing deeper and deeper, its really stretching me out of my comfort zone and I love it. That Oceans song, “ Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you will call me” has a whole new meaning to me. God seems to call me to something little, but something new every single day.

No, I am not a saint, but I am happy to feel God so much around me and within me. SPIRITUS has made what seemed impossible to me, an actuality. Daily, I wake up and work to bring God closer to others. There is nothing more my heart desires than to share the love I keep feeling, more every day, with everyone around me. If that means a smile, or just the face of love, I want to strive to give that.

Prayer shapes my day and it calms my heart. Instead of worrying I pray and Jesus has been doing a great job at taking any problems and turning them into blessings.

Waking up to a beautiful church right outside the window is a dream come true. There is so much more I could write about but I think this explains my greatest joys so far. This next 8 months will be such a blessing and I am looking forward to every moment.

And so it begins

Unfurl the sails, and let God steer us where He will. - St. Bede

When I first heard about SPIRITUS I knew that I was going to have to stop ignoring God, and let him "steer" my life. As started this journey a month ago I had no idea what to expect. Especially since my first experience was spending 10 hours in Milwaukee with two great team members, waiting for another who was flying in.  

Since then we have been going through rigorous SPIRITUS training. I wouldn't have it any other way though. Personally I have grown an insane amount this last month, and I don't think I’d be overreaching to say that the team has also grown a ton as well. All this training came to fruition on Sunday September 7th when we had our first retreat! Unfortunately being part of the Green bay team I had a previous engagement, however I heard that it went superbly! Everyone who had sessions were pleased with how well it went. The Holy Spirit was definitely working through the SPIRITUS team on Sunday.

Today the Green Bay team left the rest of the flock and are in there new homes. I am actually writing this in the "Hang out" of the Xavier house with Father working behind me. With the separation of the teams there was an air of sadness, but also an air of excitement for new beginnings.

Do you know when you just, know something? Like for example, that apples grow from trees, beds are way to comfortable in the morning, and that God is good. Seeing how the Lord has been working through this team I know it's going to be a year filled with blessings and wonder. I can't explain how, but I know without a doubt that this is where I belong, with this crazy family that God has brought together!

Called by Name

Greetings, SPIRITUS blog readers!

I’m so overjoyed to be here on SPIRITUS! It’s the first time I’ve ever lived far away from my home city of Philadelphia. A couple years ago, I never would have imagined God calling me so far away to serve Him. The chain of events that led me to Wisconsin was something only the good Lord could have planned. When we had our opening retreat at Camp Tekakwitha two weeks ago, my teammates and I all shared our stories of how we ended up joining SPIRITUS, and it was remarkable to hear how many of us never would have thought to apply if it hadn’t been for some improbable occurrence. Many of us are here thanks to the tireless efforts of our awesome recruiter Andrea, but it’s clear that the most influential person in bringing us all here was the Divine Person of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit chose each of us very purposefully for this ministry. We’ve already started to see some of the awesome things God can do through us when we take the unique set of spiritual gifts each of us has and use them as a team. Some of us are great at leading group prayers, others use their musical gifts to help us have powerful praise and worship sessions, and still others have a gift for helping the team stay on task when we have work to do. As we continue to prepare for our first retreat with the youth this weekend, we’re figuring out who has the strengths we need for every part of our retreats, and so far we haven’t run into anything that none of us can do well. It doesn’t seem like our complimentary spiritual gifts are a coincidence; it seems like God called each of us here by name because He knew we would form exactly the kind of team He wanted.

We’re all so blessed to be here, and we’re not taking it for granted. We pray every day for the youth we serve, the benefactors of SPIRITUS, and our own spiritual growth. The graces we receive from being here are immeasurable, and we’re looking forward to getting more joy from sharing those graces with others than we get from receiving them. Please keep the whole team in your prayers throughout this year, and we will do the same for you.

After only two and a half weeks here, I can already say I love Wisconsin and SPIRITUS! God bless!

We're Back!

Hello long lost blog readers!

It has been some time since anyone has posted on the blog. That's because team five has gone their separate ways and the Mount Tabor Center is preparing for team six to begin TOMORROW!

Team five is taking what they learned from SPIRITUS to all different parts of the country. Some are continuing to be youth evangelizers as they have jobs in youth ministry, others are being witnesses to their families back at home, and still others are going to grad school for Theology. Plus there are four of us returning for another year of SPIRITUS. It has been really cool for me to see what everyone is doing and I'm anxious to see where God will take them next. And of course, I miss them all dearly!

As for me, I've been at the Mount Tabor Center working this summer. I was the coordinator for an amazing program called Totus Tuus in the Green Bay Diocese. It was such a great summer where I was lucky enough to spend my time with awesome young adults and cute little kids. What's better than that?

Now I'm back for team six! I'm the coordinator for the team in Menasha. I've learned so much being on the team the past two years and have grown tremendously in knowledge of myself and God so I'm excited to see what God has in store for me this year. Right now, the musicians for team six have come to Mount Tabor and we have been playing guitar and singing so much that my fingers hurt. But it's been great to jam out. The rest of the team comes tomorrow and that's when it all begins! We start our opening retreat on Monday and head to Camp Tek on Tuesday. From then on it's nonstop training craziness which will prepare all the newbies for a beautiful year of ministry.

Please pray for all the new team members who are traveling to Menasha in the next 24 hours. Please also pray for us, as SPIRITUS team six, as we begin our time together that we may have a fruitful year and that God may use us to bring others into His Kingdom. We will make sure to pray for all of you as well!

For the Kingdom!

A Look Back

A couple days ago, I officially retired from SPIRITUS. But before I go, I wanted to share what an awesome three years my time in Wisconsin was.

I arrived at the Appleton airport with no idea what I had signed up for. I really wasn't even sure that there was actually going to be someone to come pick me up when I landed. Fortunately, I did get picked up and was soon introduced to Mt. Tabor Center and all of my awesome teammates from Team 3.

In that year, we did 160 retreats and evangelized about 6,000 young people. I met some incredible high school students through our Teen Disciples Bible study at Mt. Tabor. (This year, I was confirmation sponsor for one of those students.) It was an awesome year, and I probably grew more in those nine months than I did in my first six years of being Catholic. (I entered the Church when I was a sophomore in high school.)

My second year was the beginning of some big changes for SPIRITUS. We started a youth ministry program at St. Patrick's in Menasha. I don't think I've ever been as busy as I was that year, but it was amazing. Kate, Rachel, and I were able to build some great relationships with young people, especially middle school students, right in our own neighborhood. Some of them started high school this year, and they are just on fire for Jesus!

This past year was another year of big changes for me. I lived with Noah and Fr. Schuster in De Pere, which I enjoyed immensely. I got way more experience with parish life, as we threw ourselves full-time into youth ministry. I got to teach some religious education classes in addition to running retreats and fun events. I also got to experience the administrative side of things, which I didn't enjoy as much as the ministry, but it was still a great foundation for me. And finally, I started working on a master's degree in theology.

I can't possibly describe all of the things I have done through SPIRITUS in the past three years (or more accurately, all of the things Jesus has done through me while I've been part of SPIRITUS), nor can I express how grateful I am for the time I've had with this ministry. I pray that all of our benefactors, supporters, future and former team members, Mt. Tabor staff, and, most importantly, the youth we serve continue to be tremendously blessed as SPIRITUS carries the mission into yet another fantastic year!