Shepherds, sheep, and poverty

A very Merry Christmas season to all! I hope everyone is enjoying some time off and abiding within a sense of greater appreciation for the incarnation. SPIRITUS has off from December 19th to January 2nd; and the beginning of my break was a bit crazy! I arrived home at around 9:30 Friday night and by 8 am Saturday morning my friend Julia and I were on our way to Door County to catch the most of a Catholic Youth Expeditions... expedition. It was so good! I received a boost in my relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary, spent a lot of time with Jesus, and was able to be in beautiful Door County with some of the world's greatest Catholics. Part of every expedition is some time of formation; and during our formation on Saturday morning we spoke mostly about poverty and death. Wahoo! As morbid as the topics seem the way the Lord touched me through this time was incredible, and I wish to share some of that with you now. Father spoke in his own beautifully human style and one of the things he mentioned was that we can forget that we are poor; according to Johannes Metz there are six ways that humans are poor in spirit. We can try to do things ourselves, or become absorbed in our own vain plans. This is a dangerous path, and we risk deceiving ourselves as King Herod did and even passing right by Jesus; but the Shepherds in their poverty could not afford this "luxury." I imagine there were many a night when the Shepherds out in their fields looked on from a distance to Herod's palace wishing they could trade places with him, thinking of how much better off he was than they. Then the Glory of Heaven made manifest in a child was revealed to them, not Herod;  if Herod only knew how much he had cheated himself! I realized that I was running from my poverty, afraid that God would be scandalized by my weakness. Then a few days later I turned on the T.V. searching for Christmas movies and ran into Pope Francis celebrating midnight mass in Saint Peters Basilica, live, and totally gave up my search for Christmas movies. In his homily, Pope Francis spoke mainly about the tenderness of God; "The message that everyone was expecting, that everyone was searching for in the depths of their souls was none other than the tenderness of God. God who looks upon us with eyes full of Love, who accepts our poverty; God who is in  love with our smallness." I realized in a more profound way how I need not fear my weakness; and I have been praying to know my poverty, because it is through our acknowledgement of our poverty that we are drawn to the Lord. Finally, Father Quinn left us with a quote that I believe is from Aelard Rievaulxs, and please forgive me if I am incorrect! " How could He be more with me? Small like me, weak like me, naked like me, poor like me. In all things, He has conformed Himself to me, taking to Himself what is mine and giving me what is His. I lay dead. There was no voice in me, there were no senses in me, and the very light of my eyes was no longer with me. Today, that Great Man, that Prophet who is powerful in word and in deeds came down to me, put His face and His mouth upon my mouth and His hands upon my hands and thus He became EMMANUEL, 'God with us!'"

We have Purpose

Yesterday, I was on a Confirmation retreat.  My talk is typically the first one, and I always start with an activity called Four Corners.  In this activity, I read a series of statements and the students move to the corner with the sign (Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree, Strongly Disagree) that most aligns with their view.  On this particular retreat, when I read the statement “I believe God has a purpose for my life,” every single student in the room agreed, and some strongly agreed.  The words of a student in the Strongly Agree group struck me:  When I asked why he strongly agreed that God had a purpose for his life, he gave this example: “Suppose you’re my friend, and then one day you’re gone.  That impacts my life.  You have a purpose.”  While his example is uses few words, it gives stunning clarity to the idea that our lives have purpose.  We never know how something we say or do can impact another person’s life.  May we always let our words and actions speak Truth and Love.

Peace,

Katie

We're Never Too Thankful for Thanksgiving

Finding personal meaning in Thanksgiving is harder than you might expect when you’re accustomed to giving thanks for all your blessings every day of the year. I’ve tried hard to do that for a few years now, and the improvements I’ve made in my prayer life thanks to SPIRITUS have helped me to be more thankful than ever this year. Why do I need a holiday to remind me to count my blessings when I can’t think of anything I take for granted in a typical day?

The easiest way to start formulating an answer to this question is to remember that nobody is perfect. No matter how far I advance in my relationship with God, I’ll always be a sinner with improvements to make. Knowing that, I can be thankful anew each day for every improvement I’ve made recently and for my awareness of all the improvements I still need to make.

One of my biggest ongoing challenges this year has been finding a balance between complacency and scrupulosity. As I grow accustomed to the routine of our retreats and other youth ministry work, it becomes harder to motivate myself to give my best effort daily because I don’t want to overwork myself beyond what God is calling me to do. I’ve also had this same kind of struggle lately with my prayer life and SPIRITUS community life.

I often find myself wanting to draw a definite line between relying too much on God to work through me and pushing myself out of my comfort zone too much. I want to see that line and walk along it for as long as possible. By God’s grace, I recognize that even if I could see this line, it’s never a straight line. Staying within the range of virtue between complacency and scrupulosity requires frequent adjustments in one’s prayer life and other daily practices. If it didn’t, we could become complacent on the road to holiness, and that complacency would weaken our relationship with God.

Thank you, God, for the grace to know what I must do to serve You better. Help me to express my gratitude by acting on the wisdom You have given me.