Healing

              After our healing retreat this last week I came to realize that I am a mess! I came to see some of the things that I need healing for in my life. It was  a sad moment to identify these hurts and where they come from and yet at the same time to be so overjoyed at finding them. I was given a chance to better myself - to become the saint I am meant to be! I was able to find things in my life that have hurt me and that are affecting me and my relationships today. This is my opportunity to acknowledge those things and get on with the healing I need to be that saint. I have the opportunity to grow closer to Christ in a way I would never been able to if I didn't learn of those things.

             Sometimes in our lives we forget that others are hurting too; we are so engrossed in our own worries and hurts that we cannot see those around us. We start to accidentally hurt others because we are so afraid of harming ourselves. We need to be aware that everyone needs healing and that if we don't open ourselves up there is no room for growth and new, true relationships. It is amazing the things that we can learn if we just say Yes to God's will.

More than conquerors

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THESE AWESOMELY BEAUTIFUL BLOGS? Spoiler alert, this is my first blog, I have only a vague concept of what I’m going to write about, and I am just going to start typing. Also, I hit a button so now there is this weird paragraph thing on the screen that will not go away…AHH! Blog start now. Praise the Lord! This has been such a year so far, I could never have imagined half of the things the Lord has had in store for us and we are only a little over three months in. On that happy note, I now transfer to more serious blog writing #russianaccent (is that how you use hashtags?)

      We need reinforcements; things at the center feel dreary, the air is thick with the underlying sense of discouragement, and everyone seems to be trying to “just get by.” All these things are fine for a normal, worldly, dare I say secular mission organization thing; but SPIRITUS is part of the mission of Jesus Christ! I think Sam is right, I think we humans all too easily forget who we are… “For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, ‘Abba,Father!’”

      We are not simply organisms who are the result of some mindless series of events leading to a random evolution of species that is ultimately going nowhere, nor are we creatures caught in a hopeless attempt to accent to a God whose relationship with which we have royally screwed up (well... the screwed up part may be true), we are children of God, who never ceases to love us, never ceases to think about us and believe in us! God who thinks we were worth dying for; this same God is calling us to participate in his mission of saving Love. But it does not stop there, it gets even better! This same God who went as far as he could to save us, who loves us infinitely, who calls us into his mission; he is the one who gives us the grace to accomplish the same mission he calls us to. As Dietrich Bonhoffer (sweet name!) says, “He who knows Easter cannot despair.” We must not despair or become discouraged, but hold onto the hope that Jesus Christ brings.

      I have homework for anyone from SPIRITUS who dares to read this blog (also anyone who needs encouragement) , read Romans chapter 8! It so totally rocks,what follows is some scripture taken from a section from the Bible on the USCCB website titles God’s indomitable love in Christ. INDOMITABLE! “What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword? As it is written: ‘For your sake we are being slain all the day; we are looked upon as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” We should take heart, knowing that through Christ we can conquer anything, especially any challenges that may arise while walking the road he has marked out for us. We will not settle for anything less than the Glory (capital G!) of God (also capital G!), we will not settle for simply “getting by,” we are more than conquerors through Christ.

Having a Heart like Mary

     How do I stand in God’s mercy, receive Him daily and not be moved by Him? Well the problem is pretty much in my question. It’s because I am too busy wondering and asking where God is, or what I want Him to change that I do not focus on Him alone. The more I think about this, the more I come to know that when I stop worrying and follow God with a loving heart, everything is good. Mother Mary is the most beautiful representation of this. This past week I have come to realize just how far her love goes for the Lord.

     Worrying is one of my biggest downfalls lately. Worrying can be a good thing but sometimes it just needs to take the back seat. I keep wondering how I can get everything done, will my talk be good enough for someone, will I speak God’s words, did I allow the Spirit to work through me?

     If  I stop for a moment, and just listen to God’s voice He will make everything happen according to His will, which is far more amazing than what I think should happen. Putting the little things into God’s lap is sometimes even harder than the big things. As I was in confession last night the priest brought up Mary, he said to me "know that you are the daughter of God, ask Mary for consolation. You have been following God and you ARE good, stop worrying about the little things."

     When I stop being a worry wart and listen to Jesus, when I close my eyes and soak in His love…. All those problems go away! I just need to allow those stresses to go to the cross. I am just so darn stubborn that I want to take care of all these things myself on my time. But why? Jesus died for us, for you and I, so that we could be saved and dwell in His love for eternity. So WHY in the world am I always so stubborn about all these little things? When I stop and think about Mary's life I am amazed by her love and patience. How amazing it is that through watching her Son die on a cross, she had such love and knew God's plan was the way. 

     Jesus wants us all to give those things up to Him because obviously worrying is just something that takes up time and causes stress. These "issues" will be there if you worry or not, so why not rest in the glory and love that God has already given us and know that He will take care of us? 

     That is my challenge to myself for the week. Stop going crazy over things that are uncontrollable and let the only person who can actually control them, Jesus, take control. Just like Mary did. See the dog in the picture at the top? If only we could all rest under our Mother like that, knowing she will pray for us and extend her Son's graces without fail.

Take the week to really let God’s grace drown you,

“If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking”

Sink to the bottom of the ocean and let God overflow in you, without worrying about the small things.

Jesus I Trust in You...Jesus I Trust in You...Jesus I Trust in You...Amen.

Thank you...

SPIRITUS has been a place of healing and growth—not just for those to whom we minister, but also for ourselves.  We, as a team, because we are human, have a lot of brokenness within us just as all people do.  Yet, it is you with your support—whether it be prayers, donations, funding, or other support—that allow us to keep going and do what we do, while being healed in the process. 

A few days ago, I had the rare opportunity to catch up with a close friend from back home.  After catching up and talking with my friend for about an hour, I was filled with so much joy and love that it overflowed from within me and I wanted to do anything and everything I could for my teammates to share my love with them.  There’s something about talking with those you love and who you know love you that allows you to persist in the face of struggles and obstacles.  While we know God is always there for us, it’s nice to see God working in human form as well, through each of you who support us. 

When I was talking with another friend recently about a different service program, she said that it was “not for the faint of heart.”  I would say that accurately describes SPIRITUS as well.  In these few months, I have been learning to survive on less sleep, deal with early mornings and late nights, and give up control of my schedule knowing that my time is not my own.  Obedience is tough.  Yet, every now and then we are graced to see a tiny sprout from the seeds we plant in those to whom we minister and know that SPIRITUS is truly making a difference:

At the end of each retreat, we hand out evaluations to the students to see what they liked and what we could do better.  The first question always asks how they would describe the retreat.  We’ve been blessed to see “life changing” quite a number of times, and that is definitely affirming to what we do.  Yet, I think the best affirmation comes from a retreat where the students wrote down temptations they faced and “suicide” was among the list.  At the end of the day, on the evaluation, a student wrote that the retreat was “life saving.”  Knowing that we helped even one person realize that their life is worth living makes all the late nights, all the early mornings, the lack of sleep, the frustrations—everything—worth it.

While I share this story, know that you played a role in it.  You saved this young person’s life.  Without you, we couldn’t do what we do.  We need your prayers and support each day to continue in this ministry.  Knowing that you are out there praying for and supporting us makes all the difference.

Yesterday I was privileged to attend the Steubenville Young Adult Conference in Milwaukee with a few of my teammates.  One of the speakers shared this slide:

That’s what you do through your prayers and support.  Every time you send up a Hail Mary for us, you invest in us.  Every time you bake us a casserole or send us cookies, you invest in us.  Each time you send us a word or note of affirmation, a quick text, or a phone call, you invest in us.  By investing in SPIRITUS, you are the ones who hold us up when we stumble and feel like collapsing, when we feel overwhelmed and think we can’t go on.  Yes, God—the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—is always with us, but He is working through you.  No amount of words or eloquence can adequately describe how much this means to us, so I will simply say it in the best way I know how:

Thank you.