Four Words

As I near the end of my time here on SPIRITUS (12 days!) it's hard not to reflect on all that's happened. It's been an amazing experience and I'm all the better for it but the question that comes to mind is how do I know I'm all the better for it? How does the girl who arrived in Wisconsin back in August compare to the girl now about to get back on that plane and head home 9 months later? Well, it all comes down to four words:

"I'll pray for you." 

Yes, measuring my 9 months of growth is actually as simple as those four words. Nine months ago I was in a place where my faith was very private in a sense. I wasn't someone who would go around starting conversations about it and definitely would not have been as bold (at least in my mind) as to say "I'll pray for you." Now reflecting back, I can actually see the stages of my growing confidence and ability to talk about this area of my life through my use of these four words.

Stage 1: Teammates- This was an easy one because they were all saying it so there was really no chance of them feeling uncomfortable about it.

Stage 2: Brother- This one took a little more "courage" because he's at a different place with his faith right now and I wasn't sure if he would feel annoyed with me or think I was pushing my faith on him. He responded with a thanks so turns out it didn't start a big confrontation. Who would have thought haha

Stage 3: Catholic Friends- One of my friends experienced a death in her family and while using these four words was a new step for us I knew it was something that needed to be said and not just done. I think it caught her off guard a little at first but even so I realized that nothing bad was going to come from me saying it.

Stage 4: Students on Retreat- They expected us to be these "super religious" people so it wouldn't have been weird for them to hear it but even so it scared me to be vulnerable with them in this way. One retreat I said it to one of the girls I had prayed 1-on-1 with as she was leaving. She stopped mid-tracks, turned around, and said "Thank you! That deserves a hug" and gave me a huge hug with tears in her eyes. This was the first moment I truly saw how powerful those four words could be.

Stage 5: Non Catholic Friends- This scared me a lot because I really had no idea how they would react to it but when one friend was dealing with a terrible illness in her family I didn't think twice about it. A month or so later things took a turn for the worse and she actually reached out to me ASKING for prayers. This astonished me but also melted my heart. I was so thankful that she felt comfortable coming to me to ask for this. I again realized the impact these four simple words could have.

Stage 6: Strangers- I never thought I'd see the day when I would tell a complete stranger that I'd pray for them. Well that day came about a week ago. I went to get my haircut and the hairdresser and I got into a conversation about what I do which got her to ask even more questions about my faith and the likes. By the end of the appointment we had had a great conversation. Right after paying I mustered up the courage to tell her I'd pray for her. She looked a little taken aback at first but then her face softened and she seemed genuinely pleased. It was a great moment where I realized that doing and saying things in genuine sincerity are more thank likely not going to offend people.

All in all these 9 months have been full of amazing growth and I could not be more thankful for God leading me here! Know that I am praying for all you blog readers both now and future. Never underestimate the power of prayer and the power of those four simple words, "I'll pray for you." :) God Bless!

Wisdom

Wow! I can’t believe that the end of Spiritus year is almost here! We have only a few weeks left. This year had a lot of blessings. One of the blessings has been wisdom. I received a lot of insights about life and how to live.

One insight was from Romans Chapter 2- “No matter who you are, if you pass judgment you have no excuse. In judging others you condemn yourself, since you behave no differently from those you judge.”

I have noticed, especially when living in community, the things that people do that bothers me the most, I do myself. For example, one time a team member stole my seat, and this made me mad and I wanted to judge him. Then a day later I stole a team member’s seat and I laughed when I did it. It really is humbling that a lot of things that I want to judge or condemn others, I do myself. It seems we are more inclined to judge because we are more aware of the weakness and/or it is something in ourselves that we don’t like. Humility is the key and only God’s grace can keep you humble. There is a definite peace about not always being at war with others by judging them, in order to try to convince ourselves of the lie that we are the best, while also overlooking our weaknesses. Pride is a moral disorder, and it is the root of all sin.

By “never judging” we should mean not thinking we are better than other people. Of course by “never judging others” shouldn't use to reinforce our culture’s moral relativism. Which is belief in no absolute moral laws and everything comes down to an individual’s emotional and intellectual consciousness. It just becomes a defense mechanism when is told (even when it is out of love for the other person) that is it better for them if they don’t act in a certain way or they should start acting in a certain way, they claim “who are you to say that?” Its not that they think they are better, but there are objective moral truths. 

God Bless,

Dennis